Back To School Post

A brand new year, a brand new semester. I'm finally going back to school after spending 2 years serving the nation and protecting the country.

Come Tuesday, I will embark on my quest to quench my thirst for knowledge. That's provided I don't get distracted halfway like in Lord of the Rings when the four dwarves met the walking trees and trolls.

The stereotypical black kid that runs really fast and the ginger kid without a soul.

So I did a little research online for some back to school tips and I found the following excerpt extremely helpful.

"When teachers do the talking on the first day, they often go over classroom rules so you'll know what's allowed and what's not. Pay close attention so you'll know if you need to raise your hand to ask a question and what the rules are about visiting the restroom."

And if that wasn't helpful enough, here are some tips of my own on becoming the coolest kid in school. Or anywhere else in the world for that matter.

1. Smoking. Forget what the myths tell you. Smoking IS cool.
2. Extreme sports. Skating, biking, surfing are all cool activities. Don't worry if you can't actually surf or skate, just tell everyone you can. No one's gonna know.
3. Getting high/drunk. Tell everyone about how wasted you got over the weekends. +10 cool points if you got wasted on a weeknight. Again, it doesn't matter if you actually got drunk/high, just act like you did.
4. Talk about how lame everything/everyone is. If everyone is lame, that makes you cool.
5. Learn to speak like a black person. Words like "dawg" and "shizzle" may not mean anything to you, but  it's hip to talk like that.
6. Alternatively, you could just say "dude......" all the time. Gives you the appearance of being constantly stoned and as we all know, drugs are cool.
7. Ditch that guitar and get with the turntables. Face it, electronic music is in. Everything else out.
8. Beatboxing.
9. Dress outrageously and call yourself a fashionista, even though you may look suspiciously like a Gaga fangirl.
10. Most importantly, just be yourself.